Beachtastic fun

This weekend was Emily's bachelorette party at a condo at Cannon Beach. Here is a picture of me buzzed off my second Sex on the Beach Friday evening (cliche, yes, but it was a fucking bachelorette party), blissfully unaware of the hangover I would have the following day.

We spent Saturday at Short Sands so some of the girls could surf. I was too hungover to try and surf like the other girls (goddamned schnapps!!), so I laid out in the sun with a magazine on my face and clutching my jacket around me to keep the sand from blowing into my mouth, nose and ears. Check out the awesome sunburn I scored!

Unfortunately, it hadn't occurred to me to apply sunscreen to my legs or belly (in the narrow strip where my shirt rode up a little). I actually had come to the beach wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt. I mean, I grew up in Oregon and I know the coast weather pretty well. I was even wearing my boots, which I eventually took off so I could put my feet in the sand.

It hurts so bad that I can only take lukewarm showers, and the first ten minutes of my day are spent hobbling around as my burned skin stretches out to give beneath the muscles. I obviously can't shave, which is making matters worse, as I now have stubble poking its way out of my scorched follicles, and scratching the burn when my legs brush against each other.

Birthday pics

I've added a few pictures of the birthday party that Danno took. The food pic I just stuck in The D and Me post below. Enjoy.



Scott and I are enjoying the music of Jean-Jacques Perrey, moog master.








Scott looks really sexy next to Angeline.









Our exotic friends: Angeline and Eloine (French) and Shinichi (Guess).









Satan loves you!

WORD.

This is a pic that Damon just sent me. It is my hero, Jables. Damon is an extra in the movie. Word.

Oh, btw, here's the link to the movie teaser.

The D and Me

OM fucking G. Today my friend Damon is working on the set of The Pick of Destiny. Ring a bell? Yes, that's right. That's the new Tenacious D movie. My friend is hanging with The D today. When prompted to ask a question for him to pass on, I was speechless. The best I could come up with is, "Have you ever rocked your own fucking socks off?" I'm such a fangirl it's sickening. I want to ask him to get an autographed cumrag for me, or some other keepsake, but he hasta be on his best behavior. He has far more discipline than I.

In other news, I had a fabulous birthday party on Saturday. I spent two days preparing $200 worth of tapas for only about ten people. I made:
* Crepe purses stuffed with smoked salmon, capers, cucumbers and creme fraiche, with a little lemon zest
* Different crepe purses stuffed with plums and peaches simmered in red wine and white peppercorns, mixed with chevre and fresh rosemary
* Organic heirloom tomato salad with 6-herb walnut pesto and balsamic syrup
* Canellini bean tapenade
* Kalamata olives marinated in the 6-herb walnut pesto
* Anchoiade
* Curried cauliflower crostini
* Tuna mousse
* Crudites and antipasti of salami, figs, almonds and roasted red peppers with brie and Huntsman (double Gloucester and Stilton)
* Mushrooms stuffed with a ragout of sausage, cream, arugula, walnuts and nutmeg
* Gorgonzola-walnut pate with honeyed figs
* Golden beet slices topped with the gorgonzola pate and drizzled with balsamic syrup
* Parmesan tuilles with pear slices
* Cocktail: a pitcher of cosmopolitans made with raspberry coulis and lemon balm from the garden, and hibiscus-cranberry juice.

The trick is to puree the raspberries, strain out as much of the seeds as possible, then freeze in ice cube trays (store cubes in a ziploc freezer bag). Use the cubes in your drinks. Then when the "ice" melts, the cocktail becomes more raspberrylicious instead of watered-down.


God, just looking at that list I can't believe I pulled it off. I also made a plum chutney with ginger, chili flakes and black cardamom (to top little toasted nan triangles), but there literally wasn't room on the table. I should go into catering or something. Luckily, among the vast leftovers (slowly being wittled away by a lazy Heather in too-hot-to-cook weather), there remains the majority of a bottle of cognac, a full-but-one-shot bottle of Maker's Mark and half a bottle of frosty Monopolova vodka.

My Little Friends

Here are some of the skulls I've collected in the field over the years.

The one on the right is a duck, and I think the one on the left is an owl. Unfortunately, since I'm a botanist, I never took any advanced anatomy/physiology courses in college.


I think the really clean one is a poodle or something. I found it near a residential area in Hood River. The other two are a muskrat and a lab rat. Behind the skulls is a large tortiose's carapace.


From left: muskrat, raccoon or possum, nutria, cat, another raccoon or possum. Behind/between the two rightmost skulls is a rat skull that I mounted in an antique wooden pastels box that I lined with handmade African paper.

This horse's skull was my greatest score. First, it was already nearly completely clean. Second, I almost never find both the skull and the jaw of anything. Third, it was found only about 10 feet from where I parked, so I didn't hafta lug it around with me all day.


These are windchimes that I made from the femur and humerus bones of roadkill (small furbears), with the scapula of a mule deer as the wind catcher. I shellacked the bones first to waterproof them and give them that rich amber color. The tubes are from a length of copper pipe that I cut and drilled myself. Small vertebrae cap the leg bones. I don't know shit about the tonality of copper tubing, and accidentally cut the pipe into lengths that emit a delightfully sinister series of sharp and flat notes when the wind blows. Just lucky, I guess.

I'll post pictures of my insect, fish and herpetofauna collections tomorrow when I can get photos in the daylight.

Oh, and sorry these pics are so tiny. I took them with my phone and don't know how to enlarge them without making gigantic pixels of distortion.

Vanity

I love my new camera. Phone. It's a phone. But now when I get bored I can put on way too much eyeliner and mascara and take Nico-esque self portraits which can be turned black and white using Photoshop. I haven't figured out how to turn pics sepia-toned, but whatevs.



Today I did a little bargain shopping and found two nice little accessories on sale. I bought a scarf that's all iridescent sequins and makes me feel pretty. Also, I bought a little pink corduroy purse with appliqued leather flowers. When I got home I noticed that someone had slipped a matching pink wallet inside, I assume with the intention of buying the purse and stealing the wallet. Sometimes purses come with wallets, but this one is real leather and had its own price tag on it. Whoooops! I needed a new wallet anyway, and after a lifetime of being earth tone girl, I've recenty discovered that pink makes me feel fabulous. So I guess I'll just keep it. I think I can convince my conscience to not eat itself over it.

Wow, this might be my most vapid post yet. I spent the morning watching a couple of those VH-1 "Why So'N So is So Rich and Fascinating" shows. I learned a new word today: celebutante. It was coined for Paris Hilton. That kinda explains it, I guess.

How To Draw Blank Stares From a Crowd of Vietnamese People

Go to a Vietnamese karaoke bar and do "The Humpty Dance". Give a shout out to your SE Asian peeps by throwing out a "Cám ón" at the end of your performance.

Sit at the only table of white people and have your buddy Danno do "America" by Neil Diamond.

Do your rendition of "Aqualung", Jack Black style. Be a female wearing a short skirt, and bust several running jump-kicks and a friction burn-inducing knee slide for your air guitar solo.

Tell the only chubby girl in the joint that she's got a great booty. While you're holding the microphone. And mean it.