Friday, August 17, 2007

BTW our fridge died on Monday

So our kitchen crisis continues. The fridge is still dead, the part (a fuse) is on order and maybe we'll be civilized again by NEXT FUCKING TUESDAY.

Wednesday night, while trying to clear shit out for the fridge guy, I managed to stop up the garbage disposal with a quart-sized jar of old pickles and like 2 cups' worth of cooked tuna. I poured a half a can of Red Devil down the drain (that's 100% sodium hydroxide powder) and waited an hour. Still nothing. Go to the store for some Liquid Plumr Caustic Extreme and when we returned both sinks were completely full of vile, hot, half-digested tuna-pickle water (I, being a genius, had run the dishwasher while we ran to the store and it filled the sinks when it drained). So I open the under-sink cupboard and tap the pipes a little, and WHOOSH! they explode drano-tuna-pickle water all over me and the kitchen. I am wearing flip-flops and shorts and hafta sprint to the bathroom for a hazmat-type shower. Every towel in the house ("except our nice ones!!" I scream at the husband) is on the kitchen floor and I am furiously mopping, sobbing and cursing at the top of my lungs until midnight.

Turns out the pipes had been jury-rigged with $3 pvc pipes by the guy who sold us the house, and the inspector had missed it. We had to have the entire under-sink plumbing redone (at a cost of ~$600), and the clog still has not been fixed. The plumber never made the service call for a dude with a snake to come unplug it (I found out this morning when I called to see where the fuck he was already) so we can't even use our sink until tomorrow. I had to wash dishes in the bathtub. May as well have been the fucking Ganges.

So since I had apparently arbitrarily taken the day off work for the plumber who never showed, I had time to completely disassemble the fridge's interior, take everything out back and hose it all down and let it air out in the sun. I scrubbed out the fridge with lavender-scented cleaning product to get the rotten shrimp paste smell out and put a couple of bundles of rosemary and some boxes of baking soda in there.

Then I scrubbed the dried-on tuna-pickle puke out of the sinks (without being able to turn on the water!), swabbed down the counters and swept and mopped the floors and so the kitchen at least looks back to normal. The fridge is still smells a wee bit past-due but at least it doesn't smell like the inside of a coffin.

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