Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Because we are concerned about your health!


Okay, I totally stole the idea from Voodoo Donuts, but it's so good, how could I not? I was in a stupid shittown grocery store that had maple bars and fried bacon in the deli. Two great tastes that taste great together.

[Insert Homer Simpson gargling noise here.]

But this, THIS, is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in awhile, and warranted breaking out my camera in the middle of a Benton County grocery store:

Yes, this sign is plastered directly above a vat of tater tots covered in sausage and melted cheese. Some kind of "breakfast casserole." God Bless America.

29 comments:

Peter G said...

LOL! You said it "God Bless America!"...maple bars are new to me but I can pretty much work out what they are...but with bacon?...And yes, thats what I meant about pork..."versatile"

Peter M said...

I know alot of people that will squeeze maple syrup on their bacon, their's maple syrup on baked beans and now for the "overall" crowd...donuts and bacon! lol

..and now time for me to check on my trailer park investment....

aforkfulofspaghetti said...

Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh.

Brittany said...

LOVE IT!

peter said...

Awesome. Now if you deep fried the bacon/maple log, you'd really have something...

chiff0nade said...

That's DISGUSTING!!!

Thank god I attended cooking school (Peter Kump's Culinary Institute) so that I know how to cook.

Tempered Woman said...

yikes~ I'd love to work in the store and just start randomly placing the sign on things. Like maple topped donuts. But HEY it's made with Wesson!
Peter had me totally spitting out my coffee from laughing, deep fried indeed.

Heather said...

I'm really surprised the Canucks have neither heard of this, nor invented it.

Chiffonade - Too bad you didn't attend html school - your myspace page gave me a grand maul seizure!

Bellini Valli said...

I can't think of anything nice to say about this dish Heather:D This Canucks lips are sealed:D Hopefully it was American bacon, eggs and cheese.

michelle @ tns said...

what the fuck is a maple bar? fuckin' hick.

but bacon + maple syrup = awesome.

glamah16 said...

Only in America. Oddly Im craving the maple bar and bacon now.So did you eat some of those tater tots?

Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

I have heard of maple, bar and bacon but I swear never the three of them in the same sentence!!! Love the Wesson pic!

Kate said...

You had me at "You Bet Your Sweet Ass" on Tastespotting, and then I found more cuss words, and bacon, and maple. I am bookmarking your blog IMMEDIATELY as required reading.

Zen Chef said...

Well, anything with bacon on it taste better, right? I think the tater tots make the perfect side dish to the maple bars. I'm all about healthy eating. :-)

peter said...

html school...
Oh Snap.

Mike of Mike's Table said...

rofl, concerned about your health. Awesome

As for Voodoo donuts... *drool*

Heather said...

Man, I am so busy right now! But I am so happy that you guys got a chuckle.

Okay, first of all: to all the non -Americans, Laugh It Up. You don't know what you're missing. But you should! Make a bar-shaped donut, cover it with maple frosting, and put a piece of bacon on top.

Jube - If I deep-fried it, it would be Scottish.

Tempered Chica - You and I think EXACTLY alike. The world needs to get pwned more often by random signage hilarity.

Valli - Well I do declare! The internet's nicest lady can't think of anything nice to say about my bacon maple bar? You know you want one. ;)

Michelle - You can't shit a shitter. You want this in your face-hole, just fucking admit it.

Court - Tragically, I didn't eat any Brekkie Casserole, because I felt guilty enough that I was putting bacon on a donut. XD

Judy - I didn't even think of this first, can you believe it?

Kate - Welcome aboard. Here is my newsletter.

Señor Zen - The thing about a tater tot casserole is, you need ketchup and a fork. That is not conducive to my Active Lifestyle.

Jube Again - Thank you for recognizin'.

Mike - If you ever find yourself in Portland, I will take you to get a Voodoo Donut. The Cock N' Balls is especially tasty.

Nina's Kitchen (Nina Timm) said...

Now, I have seen it all. The human race is truly something!!!Thx for the good giggle

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

God Bless America, indeed... sheesh

Núria said...

Sorry Heather, but I wouldn't it this! My man might, though. He just loves all dishes with grease involved!!!!

JennDZ - The Leftover Queen said...

Those maple bars are totally something I would try. I love maple syrup on all of the things Peter M. mentioned, so I would try this at least once.

Emiline said...

Mmm, maple and bacon.

That casserole thing looks gross. It sure is funny. Are they serious?

Heather said...

Nina - I hope you know by now I'm always good for a giggle, usually at my own expense. :D

Oh, Jen - Don't you wish you had a nice soft and crispy maple bacon bar? Right now?

Núria - The donut and bacon wasn't that greasy - you might just like it!

Jenn - If it's good enough for Tony Bourdain, it's good enough for.... someone who eats sheep's balls.

Em - I have no fucking idea if they're serious. The chicks behind the counter didn't seem to get why I was cracking up so hard, so my guess is that irony is lost on those people.

Sarah A said...

Welcome to Hicktown, USA.

The saddest part is I found myself reading this blog and thinking "mmm...maple bar and bacon..." (Homer Simpson sounds followed).

You can't find maple bars anywhere in East Tennessee. Trust me. Ashley has looked everywhere. Normally I hate them, but for some reason the sheer dearth has me wanting one.

As for the bacon...well, bacon makes everything better.

Heather said...

You know what, Cuz'n, I usually hate them too. Fervently! But the bacon transforms them. You and Ashley should whip up some maple frosting and do this on a "Fuck a Diet" day (I only went for it because I knew it was going to be an active day).

Zoomie said...

A true guilty pleasure! I'd love one of those! But not the tater spuds - ugh.

Norm Schoen said...

Awesome! I love Maple Bars.....I had no idea that you had to grow up in a shitty small town (like my hometown, Payette, Idaho pop. 4500..the kind of place where "The men are men and the sheep are scared") to know the culinary delight that this square donut is.

Heather said...

Watchit, Zoomie - Norm might take offense to the tater hater. :D

I love tots. I would totally make something like that breakfast abortion myself.

Tina said...

Haha, I love the bacon on the donut! My type of snack! :)