Saturday, March 01, 2008

PWNED!


My cats would not shut the fuck up this morning, and they started earlier than usual. At 7:00 I finally got fed up and flew out of bed and threw open the door to put a foot in they ass, when I felt immediate, excruciating pain on my pinky. The door slammed on my finger (on the extra-pinchy hinge side). I, bleary-eyed and sans contact lenses, examined the damage and instead of seeing the expected bruise or blood blister, I saw that I had completely crushed off the tip of my finger, nail and all. I was bleeding, bleeding my own blood! I screamed a slew of expletives, grabbed a wash cloth to apply pressure, and took a seat on the bathroom floor before I could pass out and add a head injury to the mess.

Four hours in the ER later, I have 4 stitches and 15 (err.. 14) Vicodin. The pills are already starting to wear off and I'm bleeding through my bandages, so I'm gonna cut this short. Typing entirely with my left hand is hardly expedient, so I'm out for a few more days. Scott cracked me up in the ER waiting room by saying, "wow, honey you really pwned yourself!"

EDIT: I forgot to mention that, in a bizarre twist of irony, that the Nurse Practitioner who sewed me up has a passion for cooking! He participates in a food blog (a "vlog" actually, it's a video blog) called Fat Belly Traveller. Check him out in this video. Thanks again for the good work on the finger, Denny!

34 comments:

Jeremy said...

Ouch!
I was just out looking for puddy tat!
Sympathies!

Toni said...

Sorry to see you've been damaged by the cat! Hope your finger gets better soon, 'cause I just tagged you! Check out the blog for the "rules", and don't worry about how long it takes for you to be able to type again!

cookiecrumb said...

So you are misshapen, deformed, damaged?
Will your nail grow back? Ouch, poor baby.
Take it easy. Get hubz to spoonfeed you something nummy.

Syd said...

OMG, ouch!! So sorry, darlin'.

Props for not passing out and making a total scene in the bathroom. (as my pussy self would have done)

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

glamah16 said...

Damn! I get queasy just ready this . Get well soon.Ouch!
Oh and dont get to cosy with the Vicodin.As my Auntie Doc says its just legalized Heroin.

Pixie said...

OUCH!

Hope you get plenty of rest and you'll feel better very soon.

Emiline said...

AHHH! Oh my goodness! You poor thing. That must have freaked you out. I hate seeing blood, oozing everywhere.
Stupid cats.
Hope you feel better soon. Take it easy...have a cocktail, a little Vicodin, and relax.

Maybe call into work on Monday?

Bellini Valli said...

Heather this does not sound good at all. Speedy recoveries :D

Ben said...

Did the cats just look at you like you were crazy? My cat is really annoying in the mornings and wish I could just throw her out the window. But she just looks at me like I am crazy and there's nothing I can do about her being annoying.

Get well soon and keep those Vicodin coming :-p

Abrazos muchos!

Peter M said...

I would have recited all the vulgarities in the urban disctionary if that happened to me.

Take it easy kiddo and get some rest.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Finger tip pain is the worst. I'm so sorry! Take it EASY and keep those vicodin coming as needed.

Heather said...

Thanks everyone! This hurts like a sonofabitch, but I do love me some painkillers. I won't become a junkie, Coco, but thanks for the concern (I have only 15 and no refills).

The Hubz made me gravy-poached chicken and spaetzle for dinner last night, refreshed my cocktails and opened my pills for me. It's like getting a glimpse of my 70s!

I am totally milking this for a day off tomorrow. I have like 100 hours of sick time saved up (I'm not exaggerating)!

Damon said...

So pwnd.

Catherine Wilkinson said...

Crap-o. Cats are always making people do stuff like that. I'm so sorry!
Did you know that recent medical rsearch shows that Oxycotin is the BEST long term pain reliever?

Just sayin'....if you run out of Vicodin.
Take care! Eat and drink well!
Plenty of sleep and foot massages!

peter said...

Vicodin was good enough for Elvis, and it's good enough for you. Craving fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches yet?

peter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said...

OMG!!! That sucks soooo bad! I feel your pain and love the vicodin...always handy to have around! Heal quickly!

tammy said...

That suuuuuucks. Stupid cats have it in for all of us. Feel better.

michelle @ thursday night smackdown said...

christ on a hobby horse. only 15 vicodin? i call bullshit.

Heather said...

Houxy, you don't even know the half of it.

Hey, I did eat a monte cristo today that was made with French toast and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Maybe I am turning into Elvis.

Doctors here are hell of stingy with the good times. In Oregon you need a scrip just to get Sudafed (I'm not exaggerating).

javagirlkt's cookin' said...

yikes :o

i hope the finger heals up soon!

Jeremy said...

Don't they euthanize people in Oregon??

glamah16 said...

I had a crazy college roomate from Oregon. Eugene, I believe. Anyway she did a lot of acid in her youth, and tipped cows, and would sometimes disappear for days in Paris. She wouldn't remember what happened when she came home. When you mentioned needing a RX for Sudafed , I though about her.;-) Memories! Enjoy the day off.

Nicolette (Nikki) Miller-Ka said...

Dude! WTF! For real. Take some of that vacation. Too bad you had to be laid and drugged up to do it. :(

Núria said...

Auuuuuu! That's sooooo painful!!!! I would take whatever medicines to release the pain...
Don't your cats have a way to get out of the house by their own?
And you can not blame it on your beautiful knife!!! ;-)

amy said...

Shit!! How the hell are you typing!? You crazy, girl. You know, I once crushed my finger in a heavy, steel door when I was in 3rd grade. I had my first holy communion 3 weeks later and in all of my 'holy-looking' pictures is a very angelic looking (and rather boyish, ugly tomboy) Amy, hands in the praying position, with a big fat ring finger and a bright bluish-purple nail. HOT I tell ya! HOT! I feel for you. Get better and definitely give that cat a big kick in the furry arse! naaah, don't... i love cats. your nail will prob. grow back- mine did. -amy @ http://www.weareneverfull.com

KristiB said...

Ouch!! I hope you heal soon!

JennDZ - The Leftover Queen said...

Oh nooooo! I am so sorry Heather! Hope your finger feels better soon!
Not exactly the way you wanted to take a few days off from blogging, huh?

Brittany said...

Reading this makes me light headed and queasy. Feel better!

StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

Holy crap! That doesn't look good. So sorry about your injury. I hope you heal up soon.

Nilmandra said...

Trust you to get acquainted with another foodie while at ER! All best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Catherine Wilkinson said...

Just for you! Crazy cat sh*t, best viewed on pain meds...

http://www.spatch.net/cattown/episode1.html

ley said...

Aughhhhh! Ouch! And gross. :\ Only 15 vicodin is bullshit. You need at least 40 for that mofo.

Hope it grows back soon!

Zen Chef said...

Ohhhh that's looks painful but i wouldn't let a foodie stitch me up under any condition. My bet is once you remove the bandage it will look like a trussed chicken! :-)