Thursday, February 21, 2008

White Trash Delicasies

Work's been kicking my ass the past few days. I worked ~16 hours today, which included a two hour-long (mediated) fight with a senior coworker, and can't fathom cooking. Yet I can fathom blogging?

Okay, I asked the hubz if he'd consider fixing something to eat. He said he had given it some thought, but couldn't come up with anything. That means "I'm not that hungry, so I can't possibly come up with any meal idea, not even for my starving and overworked wife."

So I ask him if he can boil some fucking blue box and heat up a can of chili. He supposes he can. I know it sounds like an abortion, but a bowl of mac n' chee with some Nalley's dumped on top is pretty damn good. And hey, I use the vegetarian Nalley's (yes, they actually make that), so I get some good fiber and protein without the "chili meat" that is, I'm pretty sure, only barely legally fit for human consumption.


Box of mac n' chee
Can of chili
Tater tots
Lawry's seasoned salt

Cook the box of mac n' chee according to box directions and/or personal taste. Heat up a can of chili and dump it over the top. Serve with tater tots that have been sprinkled with Lawry's (optional). Pairs well with a Maker's and Diet Coke.

Since I really am completely white trash on my insides, I put ketchup on my mac n' chee. Oh, don't look at me like that.


michelle @ Us vs. Food said...

i *thought* those were tater tots in that first picture. i love me some fucking tater tots. i don't know about the chili on the cheezy mac, though; if you're going to go white trash with the canned chili, you gotta go frito pie.

Heather said...

Trust me, it is good. I do love me some Frito pie, though.

Peter G said...

I'm familiar with mac an cheese but not the other stuff...hey we all have cravings for diff things! Again I loved your writing Heather..I'm enjoying it immensely.

Damon said...

Of course it's filed under failure pile

Toni said...

Tater tots? Haven't had those since grandma was a girl! (Loved 'em back then, would love 'em now!) A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to feed herself. Me? I'm more likely to have the makings of nacho supremo - bag of tostidos, can of beans, can of chili. Bottle of beer. Good to go.

Peter M said...

That menu is TPT all the way! Send me your addy and I'll be shipping the overalls to ya...5 sizes to big, of course!

Emiline said...

I can't keep up with the comments! It will happen to you too.

Dude, I had frozen pizza tonight. So no judgment.
It actually photographs well.

Sorry about your long shifts. I hate work. It makes me mean and angry all of the time.

Bellini Valli said...

I love tater tots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Syd said...

Oh, fuckin' A. That looks like serious college drunk food, which we all know is the BEST food.

You've put to shame the cheese wrapped hot dog (sans bread) that I microwaved last night.

glamah16 said...

I love chili mac. Know what you mean as this week has been brutal, and the men have no clue how to feed themselves when you finally get home at like 9:30. More takeout has been consumed this week than ever.And today I have to take off to cater my aunts cocktail party. No rest for us.

JennDZ - The Leftover Queen said...


That is my kind of thing! I do this too - make this suoer white trash comfor food "healthier" by using veggie ingredients or organic stuff. This looks awesome!

Ben said...

I love mac 'n cheese, but I've never had it out of a box. I love chili, but I've never had it out of a can.
Is there something wrong with me? Hehehe.

Tell your hubbie to pay more fucking attention to his wife because there are a lot foodies out there that would love to cook for her :-p

Núria said...

We don't have half of the things you mention here, at least, I didn't hear of them, but sometimes isn't it great to eat this kind of food?

You are tagged baby, he,he,he,

Sorry about it!!! :D

Heather said...

Petah - tater tots are little fried nuggets of potato mince that most people never eat past primary school. You reheat them in your oven. Chili is a stew of ground meat and sometimes beans, and is sold in cans for derelicts and transients to eat.

Damon - I didn't serve it in a sadness bowl. Did you read that AV Club piece that Oswalt wrote where he actually eats a Famous Bowl? It is comedy gold.

Toni - Of course! I shoulda just eaten the chili with chips. I even have the low fat kind. Next time!

Peter, I don't know what TPT stands for. Oh wait, ftw.

Emiline - was it a Totino's Party Pizza? Cuz I can just roll one of those up like a cigar and it in three or four bites.

Valli - Do you remember the "gimme your tots" scene in Napoleon Dynamite? I can't stop thinking about that when I eat them.

Syd - I haven't put your cheesy dog to shame, I have validated it. I just hope you used American "cheese".

Courtney - I shoulda just gotten some takeout, but I think I was secretly looking for an excuse to eat junk food for dinner.

Jenn - Healthing/classing up white trash food is my schtick! One time I made tuna casserole with fresh albacore and a homemade bèchamel (it wasn't as good though).

Ben - Just so you know, the Hubz takes VERY good care of me - did you see the Valentine's Day menu? Coming up with ideas for dinner while his bitchy wife whines and barks commands at him just isn't his strong suit. :)

Núria - I forget that we actually do have truly American food. A meme? Another one? Now I know you just like to prank me. :)

ley said...

Are those...tater tots? Too?? Wow.


Brittany said...

Ya know, it's dishes like this that qualify you to be my friend!

Catherine Wilkinson said...

Tots. Gimme your tots.

Ah, I love it when food talent cops to eating crap. I'm pretty sure Batali eats Cheetos dipped in Ranch Dressing, but he'll never ever admit it.

peter said...

If you add a dash of ranch dressing to your Maker's & cola, you could call it a "rodeo clown" and have the perfect beverage to wash down a feast such as this.

Heather said...

Ley - I love tater tots so much. More than a person should love any food that comes in a bag.

Brittany - Wow, you really play hard to get, don't you! :P (I mean "awww, shucks")

Catherine - I'm just keepin' it real one tater tot at a time.

Peter - It's only a rodeo clown if I puke.

Jeremy said...

Heather that looks too healthy, we used to make that with Vaseline American cheese in the army with some macaroni, that is it! Still it was good till now when I have to take omega pills!

greymatters said...

What a great shit-food recipe, chock full of nostalgic goodness. I don't think I've had tater tots since college.

Allen said...

White trash? I prefer the term 'trash de blanc' :-) You crack my shit up ... laughing so hard

Personally, I like to rock out on a blue box, instead of milk throw in a few scoops of cream cheese. Creamy, tangy, insanely good. My other favorite version is no milk, extra butter. Yum. The tots really knock this home though -- I like mine extra crispy, extra salt.

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